If No News Is Good News…..Here is the News

Monday morning I woke up to find a large cut and bruise above my right eye. Well I’m sure it was there the day before as well, I just didn’t take too much notice of it. The swelling has made the small cut appear larger, but it still hurts. This is as a result of walking into an open cupboard door in the kitchen, something I do quite regularly. Three times in as many weeks in fact, and I have the scars at various points on my head to prove it. I should have taken this as a warning as to what was coming, as each of the cuts have got lower and lower. I also walk into tables (just catching my hip on the corner), lamp posts, parking meters, door frames, in fact I’ll quite happily walk into anything, totally oblivious to the disbelief expressed by others who cannot believe you’re doing this, when the object is right in front of your eyes- well actually usually a little to the right of my eyes. Rarely do people stop you in time, because obviously, you’re not going to do it, you’re going to see it in time! I remember one of the first times I went out with M, we walked out of a Manchester hotel and I proceeded to walk straight into a lamp post. Somehow she still fell in love with me, and became my ‘eyes’ for quite a while after that, nervously guiding me away from such obstacles. I’m pleased to say that I’m not alone in this obsession with head butting solid objects, I share it with my sister. The cause? Well they used to call it ‘lazy eye’, but I hardly think that applies anymore as in fact the eye has gone to sleep permanently. It’s a defect in the nerve going to the brain apparently, not the eye at all. It prevents the eyes working together, and so inevitably, one of them gives up and stops working altogether. I don’t remember ever not wearing glasses (except for a short period in my teens when vanity convinced me I could see without them), and seem to have spent most of my early years with a patch on one eye or the other. Apart from walking into things, the loss of one eye really doesn’t cause too many problems. It affects judgement of distance, but your brain adjusts to be able to compensate (partly) for this.  In fact I could probably do away with normal spectacles and settle for a monocle, or half a pair of glasses maybe, but keeping them on might be a problem. In fact, despite the arm of my glasses ripping the skin off my ear, and the indentation made in my nose when I walked into to open cupboard door, the lens of my glasses probably saved my eye being badly damaged, preventing the corner of the cupboard door from piercing my eye. Small mercy’s.

In the overall scope of things, I can take a few bangs to my head. I have news from the hospital, and however optimistically I look at it, quite honestly, it could have been better.  Ideally I was hoping for a date for surgery, whereas I have been called back for yet further scans and tests. The MDT meeting took place Monday morning, where the results of my recent scans were discussed. The surgeons secretary telephoned me in the afternoon to advise me that a further MRI scan had been requested, yet another colonoscopy, and further blood tests to check the level of my cancer markers. I’ll be seeing the surgeon shortly, where I should get an explanation as to what’s going on, but reading between the lines, these additional tests would not have been requested if there was not further areas of concern. The secretary, obviously, would not comment when asked for the reason, but I’m guessing that recent scans have shown something that requires further investigation.

All the above is of course pure speculation on my part. On the one hand I’m glad that I haven’t been kept waiting for the results for too long, on the other, I wish it had been more positive news when I got it (even though I don‘t really know what the news is). I had prepared myself for all outcomes, and so took the news with some degree of calmness, although with a tinge of disappointment. It is perhaps harder passing on the news to loved one’s, who had been expecting a more favourable outcome. I could be completely wrong, these could just be more routine tests, just to be sure. But, it is what it is, and I will continue to put my faith in the medical team looking after me. I’ve said it before, and it certainly won’t be the last time, I could not wish to be treated at a better place than The Christie. This is all about belief. A belief that they know what they’re doing, and a belief that together we’re going to beat this bloody cancer.

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If you have any concerns about bowel cancer, or just want more information or check cancer rates in your area you can find all the information advice and help you need here. www.beatingbowelcancer.org

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This entry was posted in Be Clear On Cancer, Beating Bowel Cancer, Bowel Cancer, Bowel Cancer UK, Cancer, colonoscopy, Health, Manchester, Manchester Blog Awards, MRI SCAN, Oldham, Saddleworth, Springhead, The Christie, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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